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  • Writer's pictureKohei Yoshino

Integrity Can Help You With Your Self-Esteem and Boundary Setting

Updated: Mar 8, 2022


In the previous blog post on curiosity (https://www.koheiyoshino.com/post/curiosity-and-integrity), I talked about The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruis. As mentioned previously, some leaders struggle with skills such as boundary setting, negotiation, prioritization, and conflict management as well as more intangible topics such as confidence, self-esteem, assertiveness, and empathy. Though there is no one-size-fits-all solutions to each challenge, some key principles (such as The Four Agreements) can definitely make a difference.


The agreements I will be referring to here are “be impeccable with your word” and “always do your best”. I am not exaggerating to say that many leadership or life challenges that are faced by my clients can be overcome by embodying these two agreements. Here’s how integrity can help:


BOUNDARY SETTING


Let’s say you’ve identified your values and the circumstances you are in happen to keep you from living your values. Examples of the circumstances could be the job you have, work arrangement, relationship with others, etc. When you notice that you are not in alignment with your values, remind yourself to be impeccable with your values. Do not agree with things (e.g., consistently work late though you don’t want to as you would rather spend time with your family) that would keep you living your values.


"Be Impeccable with your word and always do your best" - The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruis

SELF-ESTEEM


First of all, I would like to define what doing your best means in my dictionary. The key here is to actually make sure you’re actually doing your best. Trying your best implies you give 100% effort and anything below that number means you’re not doing all you can. When you aim to do your best at all times in any environment and learn from your mistakes, you will notice, as a result, that you are improving yourself and this improvement, in turn, leads to increased self-esteem. I am pretty sure you’ve heard this one before, but try to do your best in everything you do for the next 7 days. You’ll be surprised by the difference you feel physically and mentally.

Note: If you want to learn more about Boundary Setting and Prioritization, download a PDF I’ve developed here https://www.koheiyoshino.com/resources


References


Ruiz, D. M. (2001). The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. Amber-Allen Publishing.

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